I was asked by my mom to prepare this eulogy for my dear Grandma. I am not sure if I will be able to give her justice but i will try my best.
Let me start by telling you how she came to be called "Grandma". This was all because of me. Back in Nursery, my best friend Margot, called her lola "Grandma"; being best friends we had to call our lolas Grandma. She liked it! She felt "sosyal" daw. All my cousins started calling her Grandma too. I am glad that all her apo sa tuhod calls her the same.
She was a wife, mother, sister, and friend. As a wife she held her family together the best way she knew how. Despite everything that has happened, she took care of lolo till the end. She was a mother, not only to her children, but also to her children's friends as well. Our house in Kamias was open to everybody! And it was fun growing up.. At least for me and my brother. This is exactly why, over the past few days, we have seen such an outpour of love, through prayers and song. As a sister, she looked after her siblings even when they had families of their own. She and Lola Mameng would meet up in Baclaran and share some chit chat; we would sometime visit Lolo Rod and Lolo Ben just to catch up. As a friend, she was a good listener and adviser. Madaming chismis na alam yan, pero di nya chinichismis sa iba, sa akin lang. Haha!
To me, she was all of these. Who would believe I would be so luck? She took care of me and my brother, Rommel, while our parents were at work. Grandma named me, did you know that? I still remember the time I asked her "How did you come to name me Rowena? Saka bakit isa lang name ko? Classmates kong iba dalawa ang names?" I was looking forward to a Disney-like story, when she nonchalantly responds "Ah, nakita ko sa jeep yung pangalang Rowena. Naisip ko maganda yun ah!" 😁😁😁 I guess this is the reason I would look for my name inside a jeepney and chuckle everytime i see it. I laugh when i find Rommel's name next to mine hehehe!
As a kid, i got teased a lot for being too big for the average Filipino child. The kids on our street got a taste of her "dugong Muslim" when she got tired of me crying and playing alone by telling them "Mataba ang apo ko kasi masarap pagkain namin. Eh kayo??" She was my hero! I didn't care for playing with kids my age -- I had my Grandma. Who needs them? She loved to sew. She made all my Barbies their own dresses. She was also my #1 fan and critique. She would put on a cassette tape of Lea Salonga songs to put me to sleep. She makes me sing everyday as practice.
Every Saturday morning, I would accompany her to Nepa QMart for our weekly ration of food, and we'd pass by this creek along K-9th and she'd say she will jump. As a kid, i would cry and cry and ask her not to. When I turned into an adolescent, I realized they were empty threats so I would now respond differently: "sige gran, tulak pa kita" We'd both laugh and continue walking -- i still held on tightly to her hand, just in case. I will always remember the first few days of commuting alone. She was like a detective! Hiding behind lampposts, waiting sheds-- making sure we boarded the right jeepney and crossed the street safely. There was even a time when heavy rains poured and i couldn't get a ride our usual route. My friend, Celeste, and i took a bus along EDSA to Kamias just to get home. However, we got stranded since no jeepneys would dare cross the flooded streets. We decided to walk. Little did we know that the flood was actually chest deep! Within a few minutes, Grandma was on the other end of the street and she brought all the tambays in K6 and did the unimaginable: she crossed the flood water for me and got me and my friend home safely.
She was my secret keeper. She knew who all my crushes were growing up (i used to tease her na crush din nya yung crush ko) and who my boyfriends were. If you passed the "Grandma test", we have a future! I believe she chose Zayd for me too.
I remember asking her about life during the second world war. She is always teary-eyed when i ask. Great grandpa got separated from them. It was only last year that she and Lola Mameng got their closure: the Japanese tunnel held a number of Filipino captives during the invasion.
When I had my daughters, she doted on them lovingly. Although a bit too frail to carry them (lalo si Chloe hehe) she always hugged and kissed them. She even taught them to sing "clap your feet" -- yes, hindi hands!! -- with matching actual clapping of the feet talaga! They still know how to do this. She was also Mohan's #1 patient. Her health improved with every visit, hug, kiss, love notes from him.
I have a lot more memories of her and i don't think today is enough to memorialize her in my words. For me, she was the best example of how a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend should be. She taught me that in everything I do, it should be done out of love and respect; and it will come back to you a hundred or even a thousand fold. Look at us, here today, we are all part of that thousand fold. It is her love that brought us here, and bound us together.
Thank you Grandma for everything. I look forward to seeing your trademark salt n' pepper hair on the gates of Heaven -- just like when you would pick me up from school.
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In loving memory
Grandma Nene Bautista
January 12, 1932 - August 16, 2014
I cannot imagine my life without Grandma. Every minute I spent with her is written in my heart... From the day Mel and I hid inside our clothes basket as a prank on her, but she did not look for us -- we ended up soaked in sweat instead; the time she took us out to Ali mall and shared a Greenwich pizza and ended up putting half a bottle of Tabasco on it -- i remember Mel and I in tears haha!; to the day Mel and I got married and had kids; meeting Mohan, Chloe, and Blythe and teaching them to "clap their feet" which until now (i speak on behalf of my kids) they still do; and that time we almost gave her a heart attack for that surprise party we pulled off for her 80th birthday. I am lucky that she has spent that long of a time with us, able to hug and kiss her "apo sa tuhods" and spoil them to bits like she did her grandkids.
The last month has been very stressful for the family, seeing her in pain was not something we were accustomed to. We prayed and prayed and prayed. She showed us how strong and how much of a fighter she is. Even at the last moment, she chose to teach us a lesson.
For me, she hasn't passed on. She is with me in my everyday life: every plate, spoon, fork, glass i wash i remember her soft hands; everytime i bake a batch of cookies or our family recipe of brazo de mercedes, i remember her and how supportive she was while i was still learning to bake and cook; i remember how she used to braid my hair at night so that i have curly hair the next day i went to school -- i do those to Chloe as well; the time i needed to adjust Chloe's hemline, i remember how she used to do mine.
Every bit of me is a result of the love and care she has shown me. Even with the way i raise my children, her gentle ways always come to mind.
To end, i would like to share a poem i came across the web:
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gon,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
Smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.
- David Harkins
I choose to keep you safe in my heart, where no pain exists, where your smile and laughter fills the air, and only love rules. We are fortunate to have shared a lifetime with you. Thank you for all the love and sacrifices. Thank you, Grandma. Till we meet again.
Have you ever tried crying kunwari in front of your kids?
I have. A lot of times. Just wanted to see how Chloe and Blythe would react.
During the first few times, only Chloe would come rushing to me while saying "Mama's crying. What happened, mom? Listen to me mom. What's wrong?" She hugs me tight and rubs my back to comfort me.
Now, Blythe would do the same and hug me and kiss me.
So what's the point?
I realize that our children's behavior is a reflection of ours. That is what I do to them when i find them hurt or troubled. Blythe obviously models after big sis.
I find myself being more calm nowadays, and now able to control outbursts (well, still a work in progress) in front of the kids. I would often repeat to myself: "speak with love and act with gratitude" -- and you know what? It has made a noticeable difference with the girls. They are more responsive. I recently read a blog about letting go of perfectionism especially for kids. I agree with the author. At the end of the day, i want my kids to learn to pick themselves up when they fall, that in order for them to learn and appreciate what they have, they are free to make mistakes while we, as parents, reassure them that we are there for them no matter what. I have also learned to accept that each child develops at his/her own pace, that i need to just wait and have faith.
Sometimes i find myself snuggling up to Chloe in the middle of the night. I whisper in her ear "I love you, Chloe" and she responds sleepily with "I love you, Mama".
Yes, that is faith at work. I have waited so long for this moment.
Have a blessed Sunday everyone!
Today officially -- err, legally -- marks our sixth year of marriage. It was on a Thursday we decided to get our marriage license from our municipal hall. I was working the graveyard shift then so Zayd picked me up from the office in Makati, had breakfast at McDonald's, and went on our way. As if on cue, the Mayor was holding civil marriage rites and Zayd dared me to "convert" our marriage license to a Marriage Certificate immediately. Ayaw na daw nya ako pakawalan, at baka magbago pa isip ko sa September -- our church wedding. *this is my story and i am sticking to it!*
Ako na ang pinaka unfab na bride doon. Lahat sila naka japorms. Ako naka jeans saka blouse na flowery. Eww. Haha. I had a large coke tumber in hand pa from breakfast. We had our promise rings on so we used that. Kilig ba? Yes, parang scene sa pelikula ni Judy Anne at Ryan. Minus the waiting time for the license to come out -- so hindi totoo yung napapanood nyo sa pelikula na pwedeng ora-orada ikasal. Pag sa huwes ka pa nagpakasal, may bayad. Pag si Mayor, libre. Ahahaha!!!
So on our sixth year of marriage, here are a few highlights of our life together...
Gimik to death as newlyweds - yes, para kaming nakawala sa hawla haha! We lived in Pasig (Kapitolyo) then so it was sooo convenient to go to Ortigas Home Depot, Tiendesitas, and Alchemy (aww dated ako haha). Dito rin ako nainlove sa Gilbey's beer with Green Tea ba yon? Na "sinisisi" ko sa pagkabuntis ko haha! Well, not that it wasn't planned or anything.
Bad Neighbours - in our Kapitolyo apartment, ours was the last unit in the complex. Parking was hell. Our douchebag of a neighbor would intentionally park in front of the gate so we could not get in. Add to that, our unit had a terrible rat problem. We only stayed there for a few months. I got pregnant there and figured baka mapaaga ako sa sakit sa ulo ng kapitbahay.
Six bahay moves - Kapitolyo, Lake View (kaya may sightings sa akin around the Flower Group area e haha), BF Pque, Makati, Taytay, and finally, our home in Moonwalk.
The first time i had to buy a pregnancy test kit at Mercury. The pharmacist asked if i was married.
My first TVS. Damnnnnn!!
The day Chloe was born and called her mighty meaty on Facebook.
That time when we had 8 or 9 yaya changes for Chloe. Super stressful! But i am glad that is over!
Our Saturday morning thing at Salcedo Market when we lived in Makati. Food trip kung food trip. We also had fun times at the playground with Chloe then.
That moment when Chloe poops in traffic, raining, and almost "kills" you. This happened during my cousin, Denmarc's wedding.
Or that time when we try to be supportive of each other's "Me" time -- him going to an Archery range and me getting a nice foot reflex at a nearby spa.
The first time we applied for a housing loan.
The one-time-big-time time i got preggo with Blythe, thanks to the WomanLog period tracker i had on my Xperia Mini. It was planned but we did not expect to be successful on the first try :)
The first out of the country trip with Chloe.
The first time we heard Blythe's heartbeat. Chloe was there and heard it too.
The day Zayd left for the UK. Sniff. Sniff.
The day Blythe was born! I never knew i could love something so small the way i did with Chloe.
The first time I actually breastfed successfully -- and yay! We're still at it!
The day we left for the UK as a family. Let the (mis)adventures begin.
That time Blythe's poop reached her back.. twice.
Our trip to London. Just the four of us.
The nights when he goes out drinking and i wake up a few minutes before he actually arrives and manages to turn on the microwave as if clocking in! Ha!
Gaining weight together... and losing weight together.
Our Fri-dates with wine or beer and a recorded episode of whatever series we missed during the week... and then some. Hehe.
That time Chloe and Blythe managed to mimic Zayd's snoring haha!
******
Well, what can I say? It was a fruitful 6 years of being married to Zayd. Each day brings new learnings, new escapades, mistakes, and arguments. But hey, no marriage is perfect. We try to be the best for each other and set good examples to our daughters.
Babe, here's to more years ahead. I look forward to each and every moment with you and the kids. Thank you for being my strength, my best friend, and my lover.
I never really paid much attention to plants and flowers before. After months of cold weather (which is relative, btw) i now appreciate the beauty of spring. The once leafless trees on our way to Chloe's school now has yellow greenish ones and flower buds at that.
How similar is this to life. There are always opportunities to make things right. It is just a matter of actually taking them and choosing one over the other.
Cryptic post? Yes.
A lot has happened since the last time i posted, and it's been two years (err almost!)
So my husband got a job in the UK a few weeks after we found out we were having Blythe. We had an opportunity to travel with him but decided against it due to my pregnancy history. I admit i am scared of giving birth in a foreign country... and i will miss my tita Ob who took really good care of me in the past.
With Blythe, my breastfeeding journey began. It was extremely hard for me too since she had neonatal pneumonia. Apparently I had an infection which caused me to leak amniotic fluid slowly (there is an expensive panty liner that changes color to blue) thus causing me to deliver Blythe 8 days earlier than expected. It was heartbreaking to find out how she was when i regaines consciousness. I remember my mom hesitating when i asked her how baby was. I remember crying and feeling scared -- frantically asking for prayers from Facebook friends. On the bright side, having experienced that, allowed me to have more conviction to breastfeed her. She had to stay a few more days to complete the antibiotics. So when i went home to my sweet little Chloe, i left half of my heart at the hospital. I resolved to go back to the hospital everyday from 8am to 6pm just so i could nurse her. I got text messages from the nurses everytime she wanted to nurse, and everytime i would be there. My cousin in law, Melany, helped supply the breastmilk Blythe needed during the night while i directly fed in the day. I would not pump just yet since i want my body to adjust with my newborn. The wonders of our body! As if on cue, i would feel engorged when its time to feed Blythe or when I am a few meters away from the hospital. At night i would leak. After a gruelling ten days, i finally took her home (see previous post)
Shortly after that, we finally moved to our own home! Yay! It definitely was tiring to pack and unpack with two kids. Thank God for parents and in laws who willingly helped.
A few months after Blythe's first birthday, we moved to the UK with Zayd. We decided to try it out here. I also wanted the girls to make up for lost time with their dad, and it was my chance to finally be a stay at home mum. I was scared -- well i still am -- since this is the first time i will be left alone with the girls, ane i had to do chores around the house. We arrived in the summer so it was nice. It took a few weeks before we were all finally adjusted.
So officially, we have been here for nine months. Chloe is attending nursery. She still has speec delays but the pedia is positive that she no longer needs therapy, the school can hopefully address this difficulty. She has matured a lot since we left Manila. She is a.doting big sister to Blythe.. who really just plain idolizes her big sis. Blythe (and I) go to playgroups as well.
And me? I have rekindled my love for cooking and baking! Yes!
So there. I will try my best to update this blog daily. Musings, ramblings, raves, and what-have-you's.
